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Emperor　love　him；　my　own　father　never　had　to　face。　But　that’s　the　way　of　things：　each　generation
has　its　own　sorrows；　and　has　to　make　the　best　of　them　they　can。　That’s　all　as　may　be；　though。　Guess
I　should　just　stop　dancing　around　it　and　come　out　and　say　what　it　is　I　have　to　say。”
Again；　as　though　wrestling　inwardly　for　the　right　words；　his　father　paused。　As　he　waited　for　him
to　begin；　Larn　found　himself　suddenly　thinking　how　old　his　father　looked。　Gazing　at　him　as　though
for　the　first　time　he　became　aware　of　the　lines　and　creases　across　his　father’s　face；　the　slightly
rounded　slump　of　his　shoulders；　the　spreading　fingers　of　grey　in　his　once　black　and　lustrous　hair。
Signs　of　aging　he　would　have　sworn　had　not　been　there　a　week　previously。　It　was　almost　as　though
his　father　had　aged　a　decade　in　the　last　few　days。
“Your　great…grandfather　was　in　the　Imperial　Guard；”　his　father　said　at　last。　“Just　like　you’re
going　to　be。”　Then；　seeing　his　son　about　to　blurt　out　a　string　of　questions；　he　held　his　hand　up　to
gesture　silence。　“You　can　ask　whatever　you　want　later；　Arvie。　For　now；　it’s　better　if　you　just　let　me
tell　it　to　you　like　my　father　told　me。　Believe　me；　once　you’ve　heard　it　you’ll　know　why　it　is　I　said　I
thought　you　should　hear　it。”
10
Hanging　on　every　word　in　the　quiet　stillness　of　the　cellar；　Larn　heard　his　father　tell　his　tale。
“Your　great…grandfather　was　a　Guardsman；”　his　father　said　again。　“Course；　he　didn’t　start　out　to　be
one。　No　one　does。　To　begin　with　he　was　just　another　farmer’s　son　like　you　or　me；　born　on　a　world
called　Arcadus　V。　A　world　not　unlike　this　one；　he　would　later　say。　A　peaceful　place；　with　lots　of
good　land　for　farming　and　plenty　of　room　for　a　man　to　raise　a　family。　And　if　things　had　followed
their　natural　course；　that’s　just　what　your　great…grandfather　would　have　done。　He　would　have　found
a　wife；　raised　babies；　farmed　the　land；　same　as　generations　of　his　kin　on　Arcadus　V　had　done　before
him。　And　in　time　he　would　have　died　and　been　buried　there；　his　flesh　returning　to　the　fertile　earth
while　his　soul　went　to　join　his　Emperor　in　paradise。　That’s　what　your　great…grandfather　thought　his
future　held　for　him　when　he　came　of　age　at　seventeen。　Then　he　heard　the　news　he’d　been
conscripted　into　the　Guard　and　everything　changed。
“Now；　seventeen　or　not；　your　great…grandfather　was　no　fool。　He　knew　what　being　conscripted
meant。　He　knew　there　was　a　heavy　burden　that　goes　with　being　a　Guardsman　—　a　burden　worse
than　the　threat　of　danger　or　the　fear　of　dying　alone　and　in　pain　under　some　cold　and　distant　sun。　A
burden　of　loss。　The　kind　of　loss　that　comes　when　a　man　knows　he　is　leaving　his　home　forever。　It’s　a
burden　every　Guardsman　carries。　The　burden　of　knowing　that　no　matter　how　long　he　lives　he　will
never　see　his　friends；　his　family；　or　even　his　homeworld　again。　A　Guardsman　never　returns；　Arvie。
The　best　he　can　hope　for；　if　he　survives　long　enough　and　serves　his　Emperor　well；　is　to　be　allowed
to　retire　and　settle　a　new　world　somewhere；　out　among　the　stars。　And　knowing　this　—　knowing　he
was　leaving　his　world　and　his　people　for　good　—　your　great…grandfather’s　heart　was　heavy　as　he
said　farewell　to　his　family　and　made　ready　to　report　for　muster。
“Though　it　may　have　felt　like　his　heart　was　breaking　then；　your　great…grandfather　was　a　good
and　pious　man。　Wise　beyond　his　years；　he　knew　mankind　is　not　alone　in　the　darkness。　He　knew　the
Emperor　is　always　with　us。　Same　as　he　knew　that　nothing　happens　in　all　the　wide　galaxy　without　the
Emperor　willing　it　to　be　so。　And　if　the　Emperor　had　willed　that　he　must　leave　his　family　and　his
homeworld　and　never　see　them　again；　then　your　great…grandfather　knew　it　must　serve　some　greater
purpose。　He　understood　what　the　preachers　mean　when　they　tell　us　it　isn’t　the　place　of　Man　to　know
the　ways　of　the　Emperor。　He　knew　it　was　his　duty　to　follow　the　course　laid　out　for　him；　no　matter
that　he　didn’t　understand　why　that　course　had　been　set。　And　so　trusting　his　life　to　the　Emperor’s
kindness　and　grace；　your　great…grandfather　left　his　homeworld　to　go　find　his　destiny　among　the
stars。
“Now；　the　years　that　followed　then　were　hard　ones。　Although　he　would　never　speak　of　it　much
afterwards；　in　his　time　as　a　Guardsman　your　great…grandfather　saw　more　than　his　fair　share　of
wonders　and　horrors。　He　saw　worlds　where　billions　of　people　lived　right　on　top　of　each　other　like
insects　in　giant　towers；　never　able　to　breathe　clean　air　or　see　the　sun。　He　saw　worlds　that　lay　gripped
all　year　long　in　perpetual　winter；　and　dry　desert　worlds　that　never　saw　a　flake　of　snow　nor　felt　a　drop
of　rain。　He　saw　the　blessed　warriors　of　the　holy　Astartes　—　god…like　giants　in　human　form；　he　called
them　—　and　great　walking　machines　so　big　this　entire　farmhouse　would　fit　inside　one　of　their
footprints。　He　saw　terrors　by　the　score；　in　the　shape　of　all　manner　of　twisted　xenos　and　things　even
ten　times　worse。
“Though　he　faced　a　thousand　and　more　dangers；　though　he　was　at　times　wounded　and　seemed
close　to　death；　still　his　faith　in　the　Emperor　never　faltered。　Five　years　become　ten。　Ten　became
fifteen。　Fifteen　became　twenty。　And　still　your　great…grandfather　followed　his　orders　without　thought
of　complaint；　never　once　asking　when　he　would　be　released　from　service。　Until　at　last；　nearly　thirty
years　after　he’d　first　been　conscripted；　he　was　posted　to　Jumael　IV。
“’Course　this　world　didn’t　mean　much　to　him　then。　Not　at　first。　By　then　he’d　seen　dozens　of
different　planets；　and　at　first　sight　Jumael　didn’t　seem　to　have　anything　much　to　recommend　it　more
than　most。　His　regiment　had　just　finished　a　long　campaign；　and　they　had　been　sent　to　Jumael　to　rest
up　and　recuperate　for　a　month　before　being　shipped　out　to　war　once　more。　By　then　your　great11
grandfather　didn’t　have　too　many　wars　left　in　him。　Oh；　he　tried　to　put　a　brave　face　on　it；　never
complaining。　But　he　was　getting　old；　and　the　wounds　he’d　sustained　in　thirty　years　of　battles　were
starting　to　take　their　toll。　Worst　of　all　was　his　lungs　—　they’d　never　healed　right　after　he　breathed　a
mouthful　of　poison　gas　on　a　world　called　Torpus　III；　yet　still　he　didn’t　waver　in　his　duty。　He　had
given　his　life　over　to　the　service　of　the　Emperor；　and　he　was　content　that　it　was　at　the　Emperor’s
will　whether　he　lived　or　died。
“Then　one　day；　as　the　time　grew　closer　when　they　would　be　leaving　Jumael；　news　came　among
the　regiment　of　something　extraordinary。　Emperor’s　Day　was　coming；　and　with　it　the　thirtieth
anniversary　of　the　founding　of　their　regiment。　As　an　act　of　celebration　it　was　decreed　that　lots　would
be　drawn　from　among　all　the　men；　and　whichever　man　won　would　be　released　from　service　and
allowed　to　remain　behind　when　the　regiment　left　Jumael。　A　lottery　that；　for　one　man　among
thousands；　might　well　mean　the　difference　between　life　and　death。　As　the　day　of　the　lottery　came
upon　them　there　was　a　sudden　outbreak　of　piety　among　the　men；　as　each　man　in　the　regiment　prayed
fervently　to　the　Emperor　to　be　the　one　to　be　chosen。　All　except　your　great…grandfather。　For　though
he　prayed　to　the　Emperor　every　morning　and　night；　it　was　never　his　way　to　ask　for　anything　for
himself。”
“And　so　great…grandfather　won　the　lottery？”　Larn　asked；　breathless　with　excitement　and　no
longer　able　to　keep　his　peace。　“He　won　it；　and　that’s　how　he　came　to　live　on　Jumael？”
“No；　Arvie；”　his　father　smiled　benignly。　“Another　man　won。　A　man　from　the　same　squad　as
your　great…grandfather；　who’d　fought　by　his　side　through　thirty　years　of　campaigning。　Though　that
man　could’ve　just　taken　his　ticket　and　walked　away；　he　didn’t。　Instead；　he　looked　at　your　greatgrandfather
with　his　worn…out　face　and　half…healed　lungs　and　handed　him　the　ticket。　You　see；　he’d
decided　your　great…grandfather　needed　to　be　released　from　service　more　than　he　did。　And　that’s　how
your　great…grandfather　came　to　settle　on　Jumael　IV；　through　the　kindness　and　self…sacrifice　of　a
comrade。　Though　in　the　years　to　come；　your　great…grandfather　would　always　say　there　was　more　to
it　than　that。　He　would　say　sometimes　the　hand　of　the　Emperor　can　be　seen　in　the　smallest　of　things；
and　that　it　was　the　Emperor　who　had　decided　to　work　through　this