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while；　the　hundred　guilders　have　been　stolen。　whos　the　thief？

but　i　was　talking　about　the　money　shortage。　mrs。　van　d。　has　scads　of　dresses；　coats　and　shoes；　none　of　which　she　feels　she　can　do　without。　mr。　van　d。s　suit　is　difficult　to　sell；　and　peters　bike　was　put　on　the　block；　but　is　back　again；　since　nobody　wanted　it。

but　the　story　doesnt　end　there。　you　see；　mrs。　van　d。　is　going　to　have　to　part　with　her　fur　coat。　in　her　opinion；　the　firm　should　pay　for　our　upkeep；　but　thats　ridiculous。

they　just　had　a　flaming　row　about　it　and　have　entered　the　〃oh；　my　sweet　putti〃　and　〃darling　kerli〃　stage　of　reconciliation。

my　mind　boggles　at　the　profanity　this　honorable　house　has　had　to　endure　in　the　past　month。　father　walks　around　with　his　lips　pressed　together；　and　whenever　he　hears　his　name；　he　looks　up　in　alarm；　as　ifhes　afraid　hell　be　called　upon　to　resolve　another　delicate　problem。　mothers　so　wrought　up　her　cheeks　are　blotched　with　red；　margot　plains　of　headaches；　dussel　cant　sleep；　mrs。　van　d。　frets　and　fumes　all　day　long；　and　ive　gone　pletely　round　the　bend。　to　tell　you　the　truth；　i　sometimes　forget　who　were　at　odds　with　and　who　were　not。　the　only　way　to　take　my　mind　off　it　is　to　study；　and　ive　been　doing　a　lot　of　that　lately。

yours；　anne　

friday；　october　29；1943

my　dearest　kitty；

mr。　kleiman　is　out　again；　his　stomach　wont　give　him　a　moments　peace。　he　doesnt　even　know　whether　its　stopped　bleeding。　he　came　to　tell　us　he　wasnt　feeling　well

and　was　going　home；　and　for　the　first　time　he　seemed　really　down。

mr。　and　mrs。　van　d。　have　had　more　raging　battles。　the　reason　is　simple：　theyre　broke。　they　wanted　to　sell　an　overcoat　and　a　suit　of　mr。　van　d。　s；　but　were　unable　to　find　any　buyers。　his　prices　were　way　too　high。

some　time　ago　mr。　kleiman　was　talking　about　a　furrier　he　knows。　this　gave　mr。　van　d。　the　idea　of　selling　his　wifes　fur　coat。　its　made　of　rabbit　skin；　and　shes　had　it　for　seventeen　years。　mrs。　van　d。　got　325　guilders　for　it；　an　enormous　amount。　she　wanted　to　keep　the　money　herself　to　buy　new　clothes　after　the　war；　and　it　took　some　doing　before　mr。　van　d。　could　make　her　understand　that　it　was　desperately　needed　to　cover　household　expenses。

you　cant　imagine　the　screaming；　shouting；　stamping　of　feet　and　swearing　that　went　on。

it　was　terrifying。　my　family　stood　holding　its　breath　at　the　bottom　of　the　stairs；　in　case　it　might　be　necessary　to　drag　them　apart。　all　the　bickering；　tears　and　nervous　tension　have　bee　such　a　stress　and　strain　that　i　fall　into　my　bed　at　night　crying　and　thanking　my　lucky　stars　that　i　have　half　an　hour　to　myself。

im　doing　fine；　except　ive　got　no　appetite。　i　keep　hearing：　〃goodness；　you　look　awful！〃　i　must　admit　theyre　doing　their　best　to　keep　me　in　condition：　theyre　plying　me　with　dextrose；　cod…liver　oil；　brewers　yeast　and　calcium。　my　nerves　often　get　the　better　of　me；　especially　on　sundays；　thats　when　i　really　feel　miserable。　the　atmosphere　is　stifling；　sluggish；　leaden。　outside；　you　dont　hear　a　single　bird；　and　a　deathly；　oppressive　silence　hangs　over　the　house　and　clings　to　me　as　if　it　were　going　to　drag　me　into　the　deepest　regions　of　the　underworld。　at　times　like　these；　father；　mother　and　margot　dont　matter　to　me　in　the　least。　i　wander　from　room　to　room；　climb　up　and　down　the　stairs　and　feel　like　a　songbird　whose　wings　have　been　ripped　off　and　who　keeps　hurling　itself　against　the　bars　of　its　dark　cage。　〃let　me　out；　where　theres　fresh　air　and　laughter！〃　a　voice　within　me　cries。　i　dont　even　bother　to　reply　anymore；　but　lie　down　on　the　divan。　sleep　makes　the　silence　and　the　terrible　fear　go　by　more　quickly；　helps　pass　the　time；　since　its　impossible　to　kill　it。

yours；　anne　

w　w　w。x　iaoshu　otx　t。c　o　m



NOVEMBER；　1943

灏弤璇磣t。xt‘澶﹡鍫�
wednesday；　november　3；　1943

dearest　kitty；

to　take　our　minds　off　matters　as　well　as　to　develop　them；　father　ordered　a　catalog　from　a　correspondence　school。　margot　pored　through　the　thick　brochure　three　times

without　finding　anything　to　her　liking　and　within　her　budget。　father　was　easier　to　satisfy　and　decided　to　write　and　ask　for　a　trial　lesson　in　〃elementary　latin。〃　no　sooner　said　than　done。　the　lesson　arrived；　margot　set　to　work　enthusiastically　and　decided　to　take　the　course；　despite　the　expense。　its　much　too　hard　for　me；　though　id　really　like　to　learn　latin。

to　give　me　a　new　project　as　well；　father　asked　mr。　kleiman　for　a　childrens　bible　so　i　could　finally　learn　something　about　the　new　testament。

〃are　you　planning　to　give　anne　a　bible　for　hanukkah？〃　margot　asked；　somewhat　perturbed。

〃yes。　。　。　well；　maybe　st。　nicholas　day　would　be　a　better　occasion；〃　father　replied。

jesus　and　hanukkah　dont　exactly　go　together。

since　the　vacuum　cleaners　broken；　i　have　to　take　an　old　brush　to　the　rug　every　night。

the　windows　closed；　the　lights　on；　the　stoves　burning；　and　there　i　am　brushing　away　at　the　rug。　〃thats　sure　to　be　a　problem；〃　i　thought　to　myself　the　first　time。　〃therere　bound　to　be　plaints。〃　i　was　right：　mother　got　a　headache　from　the　thick　clouds　of　dust　whirling　around　the　room；　margots　new　latin　dictionary　was　caked　with　dirt；　and　rim　grumbled　that　the　floor　didnt　look　any　different　anyway。　small　thanks　for　my　pains。

weve　decided　that　from　now　on　the　stove　is　going　to　be　lit　at　seven…thirty　on　sunday　mornings　instead　of　five…thirty。　i　think　its　risky。　what　will　the　neighbors　think　of　our　smoking　chimney？

its　the　same　with　the　curtains。　ever　since　we　first　went　into　hiding；　theyve　been　tacked　firmly　to　the　windows。　sometimes　one　of　the　ladies　or　gentlemen　cant　resist　the　urge　to　peek　outside。　the　result：　a　storm　of　reproaches。　the　response：　〃oh；　nobody　will　notice。〃　thats　how　every　act　of　carelessness　begins　and　ends。　no　one　will　notice；　no　one　will　hear；　no　one　will　pay　the　least　bit　of　attention。　easy　to　say；　but　is　it　true？

at　the　moment；　the　tempestuous　quarrels　have　subsided；　only　dussel　and　the　van　daans　are　still　at　loggerheads。　when　dussel　is　talking　about　mrs。　van　d。；　he　invariably　calls　her　that　old　bat〃　or　〃that　stupid　hag；〃　and　conversely；　mrs。　van　d。　refers　to　our　ever　so　learned　gentleman　as　an　〃old　maid〃　or　a　〃touchy　neurotic　spinster；　etc。

the　pot　calling　the　kettle　black！

yours；　anne　

monday　evening；　november　8；1943

dearest　kitty；

if　you　were　to　read　all　my　letters　in　one　sitting；　youd　be　struck　by　the　fact　that　they　were　written　in　a　variety　of　moods。　it　annoys　me　to　be　so　dependent　on　the　moods　here　in　the　annex；　but　im　not　the　only　one：　were　all　subject　to　them。　if　im　engrossed　in　a　book；　i　have　to　rearrange　my　thoughts　before　i　can　mingle　with　other　people；　because　otherwise　they　might　think　i　was　strange。　as　you　can　see；　im　currently　in　the　middle　of　a　depression。　i　couldnt　really　tell　you　what　set　it　off；　but　i　think　it　stems　from　my　cowardice；　which　confronts　me　at　every　turn。　this　evening；　when　bep　was　still　here；　the　doorbell　rang　long　and　loud。　i　instantly　turned　white；　my　stomach　churned；　and　my　heart　beat　wildly　　and　all　because　i　was　afraid。

at　night　in　bed　i　see　myself　alone　in　a　dungeon；　without　father　and　mother。　or　im　roaming　the　streets；　or　the　annex　is　on　fire；　or　they　e　in　the　middle　of　the　night　to　take　us　away　and　i　crawl　under　my　bed　in　desperation。　i　see　everything　as　if　it　were　actually　taking　place。　and　to　think　it　might　all　happen　soon！

miep　often　says　she　envies　us　because　we　have　such　peace　and　quiet　here。　that　may　be　true；　but　shes　obviously　not　thinking　about　our　fear。

i　simply　cant　imagine　the　world　will　ever　be　normal　again　for　us。　i　do　talk　about　〃after　the　war；〃　but　its　as　if　i　were　talking　about　a　castle　in　the　air；　something　that　can　ii　never　e　true。

i　see　the　ei　ght　of　us　in　the　annex　as　if　we　were　a　patch　of　blue　sky　surrounded　by　menacing　black　clouds。　the　perfectly　round　spot　on　which　were　standing　is　still　safe；　but　the　clouds　are　moving　in　on　us；　and　the　ring　between　us　and　the　approaching　danger　is　being　pulled　tighter　and　tighter。　were　surrounded　by　darkness　and　danger；　and　in　our　desperate　search　for　a　way　out　we　keep　bumping　into　each　other。　we　look　at　the　fighting　down　below　and　the　peace　and　beauty　up　above。　in　the　meantime；　weve　been　cut　off　by　the　dark　mass　of　clouds；　so　that　we　can　go　neither　up　nor　d